Friday, September 08, 2006

Another Journey

And so I begin another journey. Modernity/Post Modernity, Emergent, Evangelical, Southern Baptist, Religious/Christian. All of these are terms and labels for ideals and beliefs. I hold to all of them in one way or another, and I think that it's time to figure out how.

I had an interesting evening and I don't like how it went. I've been working so hard to live life without my agenda, living my faith with a true desire to know Christ, and to be honest with people. Tonight I feel like some of the most important people to me see me the total opposite as I am.

I hate always being this guy who is always at odds with life, struggling to understand it, and all the while making those around me tired of me being this way, but right now that is how I feel. I have more questions than answers right now about some things and I think God is wanting to answer them.

God is more than wonderful. He has led me so far in my life and I can look back and see Him taking me through so much. Causing me to have to struggle sometimes, making me face my struggles, and gently guiding through my failures and everything thus far has led me to this point not by shear coincidence but by a plan.

My faith is real but my actions are too often missing or hollow. Christ has much more to offer than I have asked for, much more to offer than I know is available. I think its time that I reach for more, give God more than my wants and needs - truly give Him my life to mold and shape - finally without hesitation. I know that's what He wants, and I really want it too.

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